6:10 PM
Jessica
In public, Kendra Wilkinson always tries to portray herself as a happy homemaker. Bubbly and vibrant, she can often be seen playing in the park with her husband, Hank Baskett, and their son, Hank Jr. But behind the gates of their Calabasas, Calif., mansion, Kendra had been hiding a terrible secret — she was suffering from a depression so intense, she’d often lock herself in her closet to scream and cry.
“I felt devastated, helpless — like I was in a black hole,” Kendra tells In Touch in an exclusive interview, while watching Wiggles DVDs with her 21-monthold on a Sunday afternoon.
In fact, the former Playboy Playmate has had so many dark days within the last two years since struggling with postpartum depression, her wild mood swings almost destroyed her marriage — and her life. “I was a mess and a wreck,” says Kendra, who details her bout with the blues in the new book Being Kendra, out on September 20.
“I felt like nobody cared about me anymore. I had so much anger inside. I even thought of harming myself.”
Once sexy and self-confident, Kendra, 26, now felt so unattractive, she shares, that she would brush her teeth in the pitch-dark “so I wouldn’t have to look at myself in the mirror.” And she kept her distance from her husband. “Hank and I slept in separate bedrooms,” confides Kendra.
But ultimately, Kendra opted not to repeat the damaging behavior of her youth — and sought counseling. It was the best decision she ever made. Now looking and feeling like her old self, Kendra is enjoying her son, her husband — and, finally, her success. “I feel great,” she insists. “I’m going to live my life happy.”
For more on this emotional story, pick up the new issue of In Touch Weekly.
